the challenge.

recently i have been busy. i have been doing many different things with my life for many reasons. one reason is because i need to get thoughts out of my head, another is because the things that i am doing benefit me in many different ways. people that i love, and care about tell me that they are very proud of me. it feels good when people tell me stuff like that. its not that difficult. once i am in the situation whether it be a new thing or an old thing, it all flows right into place, and even though i am extremely proud of myself and i look forward to doing more work i am not happy. i am under a dark cloud and no matter what i do i feel that nothing will have the power to make me happy. only i can make me happy. i have to look at my current situations in a positive way. it is not the easiest thing when i am alone. not physically alone, but alone in my mind. if someone could understand the rush of thoughts that scurry up in my head that person might be able to give me a boost. when one thing goes wrong, it just so happens that everything else goes down hill as well. i don't know if it is just a coincidence or if it is just the way my over thinking mind looks at the situation. my challenge is to put my all into looking at any issue that occurs in the most positive way possible, and not to worry so much about everything.