the light.

as i analyze my mind i see nothing but darkness. negative thoughts that haunt me, day & night. as i am stuck in this hole in my life the easiest thing to do is to dig deeper and let the light get smaller. each negative thought is another chunk of dirt thrown above me and the deeper i get into the hole. the reason i am in this hole in the first place is because i became to comfortable with the situation i was in, and fell asleep. i began to think it was all too easy so i let the situation handle itself. of course when i woke up the situation had not benefited me. i should not have expected the situation to benefit me. if i am not handling shit myself why would it. i cant rely on people to look out for me. that's just the way it is. people only look out for themselves, and i don't blame them. it's a competition so i can not trust anyone. the hardest thing to do is to take my own advice, to imagine if someone came up to me with the same situation. what would i tell them? whatever the answer to that is, is also my ladder to climb out this hole. i cannot let anything handle itself because it will not help me. keeping my head up and taking my own advice is the best thing that i can possibly do at this point, and slowly the light gets bigger.